Sunday, February 26, 2006
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Saturday, February 18, 2006
1. Buy the biggest, largest, loudest red neck pick up truck I can find. Maybe something like:
2. Buy myself a Bass Boat and fish atleast 4 times a week. maybe something like:
With a matching trailer / truck paint job.
3. I would hire a foreign maid, like from sweden to clean my house.
4. I would buy a nice house, nothing big.. enought to support the family I have now with a few more possible adoption kids. Definetly a pool, a huge garage/barn to put all my crap in. I would like to have a indoor gym to play basketball / playroom / whatever. Maybe something like:
Maybe with a few more bedrooms and some land.
5. Lastly, I would treat my wife to something like this:
Just wanted to give a big shout out to my husband for M-S-H (making shit happen). With the addition of the new baby, our house is crammed for space. This week, we've worked hard on switching the kids rooms. My husband diligently put together bunk beds, dressers, cleaned carpets, hung things on walls, put the crib back together, etc. -- and most importantly he really hasn't been complaining! He's been a mover and a shaker.
So even tho' I complain and still haven't gotten anything for Valentine's Day ----- thanks honey for M-S-H.
Friday, February 17, 2006
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
So I called today and took care of the situation. Now, I'm also going to be forced to address the VASECTOMY situation too.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
I picked her up at her work and we went to lunch together, had Mexican. That pretty much had me on the toilet shitting all afternoon. By the time the day was over we had to go out to eat again at Famous Daves Bar B Q to fill me back up again. I think I like american mexican restaraunts, not mexican mexican restaraunts. The health score was 81, and typically my cut off for mexican is 85.. but since it was Valentines Day and thats my wife's favorite I sucked it up.. and shit it out.
My electric stapler arrived today. It didnt work. I think I might have broken it by overloading it with staples. I sent it back, maybe the next one will work. I also got my labler..was pretty happy with that.
I got the Bunk Beds together Monday night and tonight I got one of the dressers put together. One more dresser, a desk chair and a desk are left to be assembled. New baby coming soon, pressure is on.
House is on, he reminds me of myself.. saving lives.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Friday, February 10, 2006
We'll talk about that at a different time..
Im trying to come up with something for valentines day.. ive put it off and I probably will have to find the last two flowers in Nashville.
Im trying to educate my Son on the ways of a women.. the first thing im trying to teach him is never have a girlfriend on Christmas or Valentines day, her birthday also if you can avoid it. They are exspensive times of the year. Dump em around November after thanksgiving (may get a free meal) and pick em back up late March after the Final Four Tournament.
Back to my problem..
I have given my women 3 children isnt that enough? Im taking her to Atlanta to Ikea and buying furniture we dont need.. isnt that enough? I bought her a mini van after she ran my new honda into my new xterra (Which I just paid off BTW) after she got slammed into by a DHL truck. What more does she want?
I try and be romantic and do sweet things for her. For example, I put the toilet seat down after me and the boy take a leak.. when we get a pizza from Papa Johns I always let her pick out the first piece..when she does laundry I always make sure I leave my clothes as close as possible to the machine. I take out the garbage. I just dont get it. I think she should be happy with the fact Im not in strip clubs every weekend or drunk in a bar. Im home with her, married, with 3 kids. Sitting on the floor with the boy ripping farts and the girl jumping on my stomach.
Ill tell you whats going to happen.. Killer from work is going to order a 5 carrot ring from some guy in Great Britian through ebay and get flowers for his red headed women.. He will call my old lady and tell her all this, and Ill get in trouble.
So, in light of all this, Ive developed my valentine day schedule:
Saturday Feb 11, Ill take her to Cracker Barrel for breakfast. Ill also do laundry all day. The Cracker Barrel trip alone should be worth 40% of the total valentines day value.
Sunday Feb 12, I wont fake being sick so she can go to church. Ill continue to do laundry all day long. Ill also do the grocery shopping since shes banned from Walmart. Sunday Night Ill also bath and get the kids to bed so she can watch Desperate House Wives without interuption.
Monday Feb 13, Ill cook dinner and get the kids to bed, BUT i need 8 pm to 9 pm Jack Bauer time.
Tuesday Feb 14 Ill bring Ribs from Famous Daves to her for lunch and try and find something that resembles flowers. Although i believe she would like chocolates better.
If anyone else has any suggestions, please pass them along. At this point any sort of Victorias Secret is out of the question.. Im done with all of that.
Maybe I should just re-enact the great scene in Jerry Mcguire.. and let her know that "she completes me" I doubt she would buy it. I cry when I watch it.
And of course, I never get anything for Valentines day.
Wednesday, February 8, 2006
Tuesday, February 7, 2006
Monday, February 6, 2006
First off, he needs to make an appointment to see our physician. Our physician is a great guy, about our age and we have a good relationship with him. He is expecting my husband because I told him he'd be in soon to get a referral for the big "V". Another topic they need to cover is my husband must get some type of anti-nausea pill so he can be present for the birth of our child. I'm not going at this ALONE AGAIN. If I do, I will also be forced to so some jewelry shopping alone which will put a serious dent in my husbands savings account.
Secondly, we have to get his house in gear for the upcoming arrival of our bundle of joy. Since we live in a three bedroom house, it's best that the two baby girls (one is 18 months old) and the new baby share a room. Problem is, we have to have the kids swap rooms because of the size and layout of furniture. Which brings us to the purchase of new bedroom furniture for the five year old boy. Oye vey! Not to mention getting the crib back together and getting all the packed away baby stuff back into rotation. And we must decide on a name for our baby girl and this process is like WWIII. Currently we have just decided to call her after our first daughter, but add 2 to it. Like Thing 1 and Thing 2.
Finally, being close to nine months pregnant, momma just needs some good ole' fashion attention and relaxation. I'm just damn tired with everything we've been going through. It's been rough to say the least.
Some unsolicited advise to all you fertile women out there, when your husband says, "Baby just give me one shot!" DON'T DO IT!!!! Enjoy your life!
Sunday, February 5, 2006
Saturday, February 4, 2006
I might take some time today to clean out the new baby’s room and set up the crib. I have a list of “must have items” I need to get for the new baby. First off I need to get a new mattress. The wife claims we need a few dressers for the clothes (looks like I’m getting evicted from my closet again) We have tons of clothes, some never worn, tags still on them.
The wife had another ultrasound yesterday and was extremely happy when she stopped by my office on the way home. No signs of any Choroid Plexus Cysts (pending radiologist report next week ; http://choroidplexuscyst.org/forum/ ) and the baby weighed in a cool 5+ pounds. We are down to less than 5 weeks. The baby should pick up a ½ pound per week the rest of the way.
I need to start preparing for the delivery. I didn’t last more than a few minutes last time. No place for a man. She said there will be repercussions this time if im not there. She said if I don’t last, when’s she is able to move she will go straight to Kay Jeweler’s and buy something expensive; im almost thinking it may be worth it. I’m not into cutting the cord or the beautiful process of birth, just give me the cleaned up screaming baby wrapped up in a towel.
Thursday, February 2, 2006
Wednesday, February 1, 2006
These are some pictures our good Canadian friend Sean Connery took from the roof of the hospital in Nashville, as America's great Patriot, George Bush took off from Nashville International Airport.
The only other American that is greater than La Bush is Jack Bauer, CTU Agent.
Okay - apparently, this situation needs some clarification. Let's rewind a bit so that I can get some sympathetic responses here. Not only have "we" had to deal with sick kids for the last three weeks straight, but I AM 8 MONTHS PREGNANT. So, on top of every thing going on, I'm completely miserable.
Friday, the day before the suppositories episode, I'm was at work feeling completely nauseous. Probably because I was up all night the previous night puking my guts out - due to something one of my kids passed on to me. While at work, I begin feeling light-headed and completely pass out. Off to the ED I go. My loving husband soon joins me and nurses me back to health because he knows once we get home, we will have sick kids to tend to.
Okay, so you know the story from there. Kids with suppositories, RNs escorting us in wheelchairs, and husband screaming at the porcelain God..........
I'm giving everything I have to this family now. My pink-eye situation had to come from one of these kids and their many, many germs. I just cannot understand how. We have bleached down the bathrooms and house several times, sanitary washed every blanket, coat, and piece of clothing in this house, Lysoled the joint top to bottom and even went as far as buying all new pillows and toothbrushes.
Although we've probably bought our doctor a new car this month with the amount of money we've spent there - I was quite happy to see him. I assured him my eye injury was not a domestic violence issue, however, if my husband did not agree to a vasectomy soon we may have a problem. He prescribed my eye drops and sent me on my way reminding me of how contagious I was........great. So yeah - I went to the Sonic and enjoyed a little treat but damn - I deserve it at eight months pregnant dealing with all this. Tonight I will negiotate with God once again praying that the kids do not catch this nasty little eye bug I have. Hopefully, he'll feel sorry for me and keep them healthy.
And for the record.......should my husband wish to find himself a 20-year old.....now would be the time to do so. Hell, if she cooks, cleans and likes kids, I'll gladly move out. As a matter of fact, the whole thing does not sound like a bad idea!
Oh wait - did I mention that my daughter pooped in the bathtub tonight and my son sat on the toliet crying because his stomach hurt? We all know what that lead up too.
I'd like to be put down now. Like an old, tired dog - just take me to the field and put me down.
7:00 PM - Tuesday Night CST
As a new week comes around, my wife has come down with a new illness. This is week 4 of something wrong with the family. Last night her right eye starts to swell and water. She claims it was an old injury – where the little girl, who at the time was barely 6 month old, scratched the lense of her eye (that was another dramatic emergency doctor trip). This was no ordinary scratch, this was a deep scratch, unrepairable.
We go to bed.
6:00 AM – Wednesday Morning CST
She woke up bright and early this morning and packed up the girl and off they went to the doctor. Doctor said… PINK EYE! Before leaving (we share the same doctor, I told her he had small fingers, dont ask me how I know this, another blog, another time) she attempts to schedule me for my vasectomy. I see my doctor in the hospital often (remember I save lives) and he knows I may meet a 20 yr old who will want children and I can’t take that risk right now.
My wife gets her prescription and runs through Sonic for a burger and a shake and goes to work, which they promptly send her home for fear of infecting the place. IM sure she didn’t mind since Doctor Phil and Oprah was a new today.
So in the spirit of “Pinky”, here a few things I like to say to my wife with an extreme case of pink eye. Feel free to join in. If your “pink” comment makes the blog, you get 10 blog points. Get a 100 points and get a free trip to Canada ( if you would even go there )
“Look at me in the eye when you talk to me”
“What do you tell a women with 1 pink eye?”… “ Nothing, I already told her no once!”